Have you ever felt like drowning in a sea of negative emotions? I certainly have. A few months ago, I found myself battling a wave of depression that seemed to engulf everything.
My once vibrant world was suddenly painted in shades of grey. It was a tough time, to say the least my soul was weary. I couldn’t function well within my responsibilities, especially at work. It sucked.
Isn’t it strange that when you are low you find a way to beat yourself even further- why is it that all the mistakes you’ve done in the past begin to haunt you, your flaws are magnified and the hurt others have inflicted becomes the script you keep replaying?
I was spiraling out of control and what happened after amazed me. When the storm raged, I found strength in the words I whispered to myself: “Mary (my name that I rarely use in public☺), yes you are struggling but I love you, you’re enough, you are beautiful even in this mess”. That hope came from the self-work I’d been doing, rooted in God’s love and self-compassion.
That’s when I realized: It’s possible to be your best, even at your worst.
I was loving myself at my worst… When was the last time you felt you were at your worst? You might have messed up big time, broken off a relationship, grieving a loved one, or just a series of hard seasons that finally took you out and left you wounded and weary.
What do you do then?
Let me share 3 things that have worked for me and I believe can work for you too.
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Speak Graciously to yourself
We’re often our own harshest critics but offer so much compassion and grace to other people. When we’re down, it’s easy to fall into a spiral of self-doubt and negative self-talk.
Words are sweet to the soul; composed of your mind, emotions, and will. Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person’s lips bring satisfaction.
Gracious words heal your body. Satan always tries to get you down, and how he works is by giving you so many negative thoughts that you’ll begin speaking them out loud.
This is the time to do the opposite, it doesn’t matter how you feel or think, open your mouth and think of sweet honey-like words to speak to yourself. “It will be alright there will be better, better days coming. You’re beautiful, you will rise again. You’re loved, you’re chosen. God is fighting for me.”
I immediately began to feel better. I was loving myself at my worst. I was being accountable and taking action. It didn’t solve all my problems, but I was gaining control through God’s grace.
What words do you say to yourself when you are wounded, broken, and in pain?
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24
Your soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel. Proverbs 11:17
Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person’s lips bring satisfaction. Proverbs 18:20
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Manage Emotions
As the saying goes, “If our feelings don’t come out in our actions, they will come out in our ulcers.” Emotions are signs that something is going on in your heart.
They point to the thoughts in your mind, especially your subconscious mind, also known as your emotional mind.
Before we can tackle our thoughts, we need to manage our emotions. We should validate our feelings but we shouldn’t allow them to take control.
Remember, feelings are like toddlers – they need guidance, not control.
Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions. Instead, of binge-eating, complaining, or watching endless series on Netflix.
Take walks, spend time in nature, treat yourself to ice cream at a nice café, or put on some uplifting music and dance. Release the tension by doing something physical.
When you do a physical activity, you release happy hormones like endorphins. The hormone cortisol is also released, which helps manage stress.
Being physically active can also give your brain something to focus on and be a positive coping strategy for difficult times.
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Get support
When you’re at your lowest, it can be tempting to isolate yourself. But reaching out for support can make a world of difference.
You need support from others, specifically someone who cares for you and will offer grace and a listening ear.
As human beings, we often struggle to let others see our vulnerability and weakness but with the right people will be able to receive the love and care we need.
When I was going through a difficult time, I reached out to my counselor who I met about ten years ago. Honestly, I didn’t want to I would have preferred to go to disappear to a remote area with food, a nice house, and Netflix.
The last thing I felt like doing was to reach out to someone and open up. However, the Holy Spirit kept bringing up my counselor’s name and after a few days, I picked up the phone and set an appointment.
I am glad I got the courage to call and see her, she listened and gave gracious counsel and insight I didn’t have.
We realized that I usually tend to see her when I’m going through a transition and it happens almost every 4 years. I bless God for her. Yes, even Pastors need counselors.
We all need someone we can reach out to. Find a trusted friend, it could be your best friend, a therapist, one of the Wired Team leaders, or whoever comes to your spirit.
Emotions are a normal part of life, but they can overwhelm us if we don’t manage them effectively. I hope the three points have helped if you’re going through a rough phase. And if you’re not currently experiencing a difficult time, I hope you’ll keep them in mind.
~ Wanjugu Gichuru
Coach, Pastor
